Watch what you say around Neil Dickinson.

Ask him how he is and he might answer you like this:

You ask how I am, so here goes:
I am doing alright, I suppose
As a writer of rhymes
And imbiber of wines
From the land where it frequently snows

Dickinson, who lives on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, is easily the Limerick Laureate of Facebook. And perhaps in Real Life as well.

“People ask me where I came up with the idea of writing custom limericks,” he said, fortunately in straight prose. “I was about seven or eight when I thought words were fun to play with. I liked the reaction I got from people. I’d read a story for a bunch of friends and they’d laugh or smile. It made me feel worthy of something.”

Play turned into a vocation. For about $30, Dickinson will write you two, five-line, personalized limerick verses to commemorate nearly any occasion, from birthdays and holidays to retirements and weddings. (He’ll write more, but it costs more.)

“I had one fellow in Chicago who wanted me to write about his daughter and her husband-to-be. That came out to be 24 verses,” Dickinson said.

Twenty-four limerick verses? Seriously? That’s a long time to be hoisting a champagne glass.

“He read it at the reception and wrote back that he got a standing ovation.”

As I said, a great idea, although what Dickinson told me next made me wonder if he was pushing the form too far.

“I’ve done eulogies,” he said. “and that’s a gratifying experience, telling the story of someone’s life in limerick form. I work chronologically and end with a verse that sums up the person’s impact on others. It’s often a tear jerker.”

Limericks? For a eulogy? Aren’t limericks reserved for bawdy occasions, like when the men folk retire to the sitting room with cigars and brandy to act like locker-room adolescents?

“I write an original, unique verse,” Dickinson said, proud that he puts human contact ahead of commerce. “It’s not like a Hallmark card where for four dollars you get a verse that’s written on a million other cards and it doesn’t really pertain to anybody.”

Limericks as celebratory messages don’t seem to violate any societal taboos, perhaps because the history of limericks is open to debate. Scholars believe limericks had their beginnings in France during the Middle Ages before jumping across the English Channel some five centuries later.

Shakespeare used the limerick’s rhythm in Stephano’s drinking song in The Tempest, as well as in Othello and King Lear. Yet it wasn’t until the early 1700s that the limerick reached Ireland, carried there by soldiers returning from the War of the Spanish Succession.

Somehow, though, Ireland wound up attaching its name to the poetic form and getting credit for its invention.*

“People who are creative and want to send something unique like the product. But other people say they can spend 50 dollars on something unique or four dollars on a card, they buy the card,” he said.

Dickinson admitted, with tongue in cheek, that making inroads against Hallmark is an uphill battle. After a career in customer service and retail finance, however, he doesn’t see himself doing anything else, even though he works for the toughest boss he’s ever had.

“Once I write a limerick I’ll rewrite it half a dozen times because it’s got to be perfect. I’m a fiend when it comes to quality. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night thinking, ‘Why did I write that?’ And I’ll rewrite it and send my customer a revision. And he’s probably thinking, ‘Why did Neil do this? He sent me a great verse and now he’s changing it.’ But I can’t stand it if something seems wrong or I used the wrong phrase.”

A real taskmaster that boss of his. But Dickinson thinks it’s worth it.

“People told me for years that I should start a website and do something with this dubious skill that I have. Finally, I was getting a little older and worried that I’d end up on my deathbed thinking, ‘Why didn’t I try that?’ It’s a labor of love. I’m not getting rich, but it’s a lot of fun.”

And why not, when you can take people’s lives from better to verse.