No one has been more vocal about the evils of modern day corporations than I, so I feel it’s only fair that when one of the great corporations of this country steps up and takes a stand on a serious issue, such as promoting diversity, it’s only fair that I recognize that company for its efforts.

So I say, let’s all tip our hats to Facebook, for its diversity-promoting efforts on behalf of a severely marginalized segment of our population.

Cavemen.

Although Facebook would, with the modesty that has become the hallmark of its existence, deny any responsibility for championing the Caveman’s cause, their intentions are perfectly clear.

(For an in-depth examination of Cavemen and their role in modern society, refer to the body of critical work collectively known as the Geico Cavemen television commercials.)

Take this pronouncement by Nicola Mendelsohn, Facebook’s executive in charge of European, Middle Eastern, and African operations.

And, whoa boy, if there ever was a treasure trove of Cavemen legacy and lore, where else would one look but in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, even if most Facebook users couldn’t find them on a globe.

According to Mendelsohn, Facebook “…will probably be all video in five years.”

Yes, you read that correctly.

Facebook is taking the lead in bringing into modern culture the great Caveman tradition of replacing the written word with pictures, annotated with an assortment of grunts, sighs, guffaws, and snorts (which in Caveman language are referred to with the three utterances Eh? Mow? Gee?).

By eliminating the written word from its pages, Facebook is providing Cavemen with a social space for sharing their visions of the future.

And by eliminating critical thinking, details, deep meaning, and abstractions from our daily lives, Facebook is freeing the rest of us from those elements of modern society which, as most young people know, are nothing more than time sucks.

(Examples of time sucks: English composition, rhetoric, public speaking, and most of 12th grade.)

As Facebook’s Mendelsohn remarked, pictures, like those in videos, are, “…the best way to tell stories.” Why she chose to say this in words instead of drawing pictures on the conference room wall is, reportedly, a trade secret.

(FOR THE RECORD: Calls to Facebook were not returned, although an email from Aaron Sorkin suggested that one could glean  more about Cavemen and Facebook by talking to the Winklevoss twins.)

As Facebook becomes increasingly Caveman-oriented, we can expect more Caveman traditions to filter through our culture. That will only be a boon to Facebook users, if for no other reason than finding Europe, the Middle East or Africa on a globe was never a question on any prehistoric SAT.

But simplistic education is only, as a Caveman would illustrate, scratching the surface (which, in Caveman art, is pretty much anywhere on the body).

Casual Fridays will see the return of fur to the workplace (for both women and men). And, New Year’s Eve in New York City will become a cross-cultural experience as millions of people ring in the new year in Times Square and then go clubbing until dawn—with real clubs.

These customs may sound strange, but we Americans have repeatedly demonstrated the flexibility needed to assimilate arcane practices into our culture, including spending hours adjusting our Facebook privacy settings and paying airline baggage fees.

Congratulations, Facebook.

You have shown us all that nothing is beyond the reach of a great American corporation that is dedicated to bettering itself.

Even if that means taking a stand for something that’s unspeakable.